Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
