I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize