She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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