I wish I could punch you in the face.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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