Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
