I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
