Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
