Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
