apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Randomize
