I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We have started to decorate penises.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
