I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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