It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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