I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
