end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
