we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
