Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
