she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She's the barista slut.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
pray to the hookup gods
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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