3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
