we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's rum buckets o'clock
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
