You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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