he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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