you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize