i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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