So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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