ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
