I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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