his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
