The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize