Umm I'm too high to move.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
