who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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