I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
