Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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