She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You're a waste of cheezeits
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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