I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
