can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
