I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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