She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My feet surprised me
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
