Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize