Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
