drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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