I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
