Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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