you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize