No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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