god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
