If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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