well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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