im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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