Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
