this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
