so explain again why im purple
no
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
