fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
that is very illegal...i love you.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
