do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just had sex on a roof
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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