when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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