i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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