I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
