there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
