i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
