So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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