the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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