Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
