it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
