Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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