the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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