My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
