Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
