I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
